used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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