Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
