The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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