I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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