I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
