I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
