Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
