How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
