3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
kristin has been a bad kristin
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
