hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
