She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
