I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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