I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize