I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
