what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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