Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
