left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize