a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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