The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
