I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
