I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
