Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
