There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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