We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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