no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
