I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize