She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
BRING THE BAGELS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
