Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
