She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You ruined the universe
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
