I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
