sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
