Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
