I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
