Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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