He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
