No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
