For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
