had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
