the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
