SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
