you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
