i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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