I think I died a long time ago.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
