She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
