No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
third nipple confirmed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
