ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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