what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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