We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
its liver damage thursday
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