Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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