I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
