i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
