I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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