I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
