we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
