after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
