highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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