i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
