God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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