everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
