So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
