just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
