I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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